Family Conflict and Crisis – JSS2 Home Economics Lesson Note (Second Term)

A family conflict is a struggle between two or more family members who disagree over issues. A family crisis is a situation that marks a turning point, when things stop going on as usual in the family. Conflict is resolved in five stages, and each type of crisis can be managed.

Behavioural objectives

By the end of the lesson, students should be able to:

1. explain the meaning of family conflict and family crisis;
2. state the causes of conflict in families;
3. list the types of family crisis;
4. describe the stages and guidelines for resolving family conflicts;
5. explain ways of managing each type of family crisis.

What is a family conflict?

A conflict is a struggle between two or more people who disagree. The struggle may be verbal, physical or both. Conflict ranges from small disagreements between friends and family members to violent battles between enemies.

A family conflict is a struggle between two or more family members who disagree over issues. There could be conflicts between husband and wife or between siblings.

What causes conflicts in families?

Conflicts can be caused by the following.

Situational causes

Any situation that dissatisfies people can cause conflict. For instance, in families:

1. when a parent or parents show more love or attention to one child and neglect the others;
2. when a husband fails to give his wife money for housekeeping;
3. when children disobey their parents.

Personality differences

No two individuals are the same, not even twins. Individual differences arise from heredity and environment. Some people may be slow and quiet, while others are fast, noisy and outgoing. These different behavioural patterns can bring about conflicts in the family.

Power struggles

Conflicts can occur when people feel a need to be in control. Power is the ability to influence another person, and each person will struggle for it. This can occur between husband and wife. It can also occur between a younger and an elder brother or sister. In some cases, a boy might try to show a girl that he is stronger than she is.

What is a family crisis?

A family crisis is a situation that marks a turning point, when things cease to go on as usual in the family. It is a change in the normal way of life of the family. Crises can be challenging, so they need to be managed properly.

What are the types of family crisis?

1. Arrival of a new baby

The arrival of a new baby is normally a joy to the family, but it can also be a source of crisis in the following ways:

• The father may feel neglected as the mother turns all her attention to the baby.
• Other children may also feel neglected and become jealous.
• There is more pressure on family resources, for example more money will be needed for the baby’s needs.
• There is more demand for the mother’s time and energy.

2. Clashes of personality

Family members differ in their abilities, likes and dislikes. They also differ in the ways they react to situations. Some are fast while others are slow. Despite these differences, they are expected to agree with each other and work together in harmony. However, when they disagree seriously, there may be clashes of personality, and family crises may occur.

3. Loss of job or employment

When a family member, especially the breadwinner, loses his or her job, a serious crisis results. The job may be lost through unexpected retirement, retrenchment or redundancy, or because the establishment is in distress and folds up. In such situations, family needs can no longer be met. For instance, the education of the children can come to a sudden end.

4. Divorce

Divorce means the break-up of a marriage. This is one of the most serious crises in any family. It is even more serious when children are involved and the parents disagree over custody. Divorce hurts the husband and wife, the children and the in-laws.

5. Death of a family member

Death is traumatic. It causes severe emotional shock. The death of a family member may shatter the trust of the other members. For instance, the death of the breadwinner could mean the loss of hope for the children’s education.

How can family conflicts be resolved?

Stages of conflict resolution

Conflict resolution is a process that occurs in five stages:

1. Becoming aware of the conflict or problem
2. Setting limits
3. Arguing stage
4. Negotiating and compromise
5. Following up

Guidelines for conflict resolution

1. Use words that fit.
2. Decide to resolve the conflict peacefully.
3. Try to talk in a place where other people will not distract you or interfere with your efforts.
4. When you talk, take turns. No one person should dominate the talking, and every person must be given the chance to talk.
5. Use active listening and keep an open mind.
6. Show respect to the other person and receive respect from him or her.
7. Control your voice and tongue, and speak the truth.

How can a family manage a crisis?

Managing the arrival of a new baby

• The family should plan and prepare properly before each new baby.
• The father and other older children should be involved in some aspects of child care.

Managing clashes of personality

• The family should set family values, lifestyles, goals and standards.
• Where individuals have different value systems, the other members should know that the family must agree on how to accommodate such values.
• Family rules should be acceptable to all members.

Managing loss of job or employment

• Family goals will need to be reviewed.
• Alternative employment must be sought.
• Family members may have to take on new responsibilities.

Managing divorce

• Family members need to find ways of adjusting wherever they find themselves.
• Parents need to agree on how to help the children.
• Children should be allowed to communicate with both parents.
• Counselling can help.

Managing the death of a family member

• Each family member should take responsibility for the things he or she can do.
• The family should spend more time together and encourage each other.
• The family may have to change or modify some of its goals.

Evaluation

1. State four causes of conflicts in the family.
2. State methods of conflict resolution in the family.
3. State the consequences of family conflicts.
4. Explain ways in which a family can manage various crises.

Assignment

Choose any two types of family crisis. Explain how each can arise and how a family can manage it.