Child Responsibility to Parents and Relations – JSS1 Islamic Studies Lesson Note (Third Term)

Child responsibility to parents and relations is the set of duties children owe their parents and family members, such as respect, obedience, love, help, care, financial support and prayer.

Behavioural objectives

1. State the role of parents and the sacrifices they make for their children.
2. List ways children can show respect, love, help and care to their parents.
3. Quote Islamic teachings on kindness to parents and relatives.
4. Describe children’s responsibilities toward siblings, grandparents and other relatives.
5. Explain how fulfilling family responsibilities benefits the child, the family and society.
6. Identify challenges in fulfilling family responsibilities and ways to overcome them.

What does Islam teach about duties to parents and relatives?

Islam teaches that kindness to parents (birr al-walidayn) and keeping family ties (silat ar-rahm) are acts of worship.

• Qur’an 17:23-24: Allah commands kindness to parents, forbids saying “uff” (a word of disrespect) to them, and tells children to lower the wing of humility to them.
• Du’a for parents: “My Lord, have mercy on them as they raised me when I was small” (Qur’an 17:24).
• Qur’an 31:14: a mother carries her child through hardship upon hardship, so children should thank Allah and their parents.
• Qur’an 4:36: Allah commands kindness to parents and to relatives.
• Hadith on the mother: a man asked who deserved his best company. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said “your mother” three times, then “your father” (Bukhari and Muslim).
• Hadith on family ties: the person who cuts family ties will not enter Paradise (Bukhari and Muslim).
• Limit of obedience: a child must not obey parents in disobedience to Allah (Qur’an 31:15), but must still treat them kindly.
• Disobedience to parents: called uququl walidayn, it is a major sin in Islam.

Why are parents important in our lives?

Parents are the people who bring us into the world and provide for our growth, safety and training.

What is the role of parents?

• Birth: they bring us into this world.
• Provision: they give food, shelter, clothing and protection.
• Care: they look after us when we are sick.
• Education: they send us to school and teach us right from wrong.
• Love: they love us even when we make mistakes.
• Guidance: they guide us to become good people.

What sacrifices do parents make?

• Pregnancy: the mother carries the child for about nine months.
• Lost sleep: parents stay awake to care for babies and sick children.
• Hard work: they work to earn money for the family.
• Children first: they put their children’s needs before their own.
• Worry: they worry about their children’s safety and future.
• Savings: they spend their savings on school fees.
• Comfort: they give up personal time and rest.

What are the responsibilities of children toward parents?

Children owe their parents six main duties: respect and obedience, love, help, care in illness and old age, financial support, and prayer.

Respect and obedience

• Gentle speech: speak to parents in a kind and soft voice.
• No arguing: do not raise your voice or argue with them.
• Obedience: follow their instructions and household rules.
• Permission: ask before doing important things.
• Listening: do not interrupt when they speak.
• Polite words: say “please” and “thank you”.
• Greeting: stand or kneel to greet them, as local custom requires.

Love and kindness

• Kind words: tell them you love them.
• Time: sit and spend time with them.
• Advice: listen to their advice and stories.
• Patience: be patient with them, especially when they are old.
• Appreciation: make them feel valued and give small gifts.

Helping around the home

• Chores: sweep, wash plates and clothes, and help with cooking without being asked.
• Tidiness: keep your own space clean.
• Younger siblings: look after them.
• Errands: run errands and carry heavy items for parents.

Care during illness and old age

• Health checks: ask regularly how they feel.
• Medicine: remind them to take their drugs.
• Hospital visits: go with them to the clinic or hospital.
• Daily tasks: help with what they cannot do alone.
• Meals: make sure they eat well.
• Comfort: give emotional support and a comfortable place to rest.

Financial support

When children grow up and earn money, they should support their parents.

• Money: help parents if they need it.
• Medical bills: pay for their treatment when needed.
• Home needs: buy necessary items for the house.
• Emergency savings: keep some money aside for their urgent needs.
• Siblings: help pay school costs if parents cannot afford them.

Prayer and good wishes

• Du’a: pray for their health, happiness, forgiveness and peace.
• Gratitude: thank Allah for giving you good parents.
• After death: keep praying for them. A righteous child who prays for a dead parent is among the three things that continue to benefit the dead (Muslim).
• Good name: speak well of them to others.
• Values: carry on their good teachings.

What are the responsibilities of children toward other family members?

Children owe respect, love and help to siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, in-laws and step-relations.

What are the benefits of fulfilling family responsibilities?

Fulfilling family responsibilities benefits the child, the family and the whole society.

Benefits to the child

• Character: it builds good character and values.
• Skills: it teaches life skills and self-discipline.
• Joy: it brings the joy of giving and serving.
• Blessings: the child receives prayers and blessings from parents.
• Reward: it earns the pleasure and reward of Allah.
• Future: it prepares the child to be a good parent.

Benefits to the family

• Peace: the home is calm and happy.
• Bonds: family relationships grow stronger.
• Less conflict: quarrels and stress reduce.
• Needs met: everyone’s needs are cared for.
• Support: the family helps one another in hard times.
• Traditions: family values are preserved.

Benefits to society

• Strong communities: responsible families make stronger communities.
• Elderly care: fewer old people are left without care.
• Values: good values pass to the next generation.
• Fewer problems: social problems and conflicts reduce.
• Good citizens: children learn to respect authority and rules.
• Role models: others copy their example.

What challenges make it hard to fulfil family responsibilities?

The main challenges are lack of time and poor communication, and each has practical solutions.

Time challenges

• School load: lessons and homework take much time.
• Activities: sports and clubs fill the day.
• Distractions: phones, social media and television take family time.
• Distance: some relatives live far away.
• Work: older children may have part-time jobs.

Communication barriers

• Generation gap: parents and children hold different views.
• Cultural differences: blended families may have different customs.
• Feelings: some children find it hard to express emotions.
• Misunderstandings: wrong assumptions cause quarrels.
• Language: some grandparents speak a different language.
• Old conflicts: past quarrels leave hurt feelings.

How can these challenges be overcome?

What are practical ways to show responsibility?

Children can show responsibility through daily actions, on special occasions and during difficult times.

Daily actions

• Greetings: greet parents when they wake and when they return home.
• Interest: ask about their day and health.
• Initiative: offer help without being asked.
• Promises: keep promises made to family.
• Rules: follow family rules and finish chores on time.

Special occasions

• Remembering: remember birthdays and anniversaries.
• Gifts: give thoughtful gifts or handmade cards.
• Celebrations: help prepare for Eid and other family celebrations.
• Memories: take family photographs.
• Traditions: take part in family traditions with joy.

During difficult times

• Illness: be extra helpful when someone is sick.
• Crisis: give emotional support.
• Money problems: take on more duties and avoid unnecessary requests.
• Patience: stay calm in stressful situations.
• Solutions: offer ideas instead of complaints.
• Teamwork: work with siblings to help parents.

Who teaches children about family responsibilities?

Parents, schools and the community all teach children their family responsibilities.

Role of schools

• Character education: lessons on family values.
• Projects: work on family history and traditions.
• Special days: events such as Mother’s Day and Father’s Day.
• Life skills: teaching communication and ways to settle quarrels.

Role of the community

• Religious bodies: mosques, Islamiyya schools and churches teach family values.
• Community centres: they run family programmes.
• Cultural events: they celebrate family traditions.
• Support: groups and volunteers help families in need.

Evaluation

1. List five responsibilities that children have toward their parents.
2. State two Qur’anic or Hadith teachings on kindness to parents.
3. How should children care for parents during illness or old age?
4. Give three ways children can show respect to grandparents.
5. Explain how fulfilling family responsibilities benefits society.

Assignment

In your exercise book, state five sacrifices that parents make for their children, then explain how a child can show responsibility to the family during difficult times.