Elements of Description – JSS1 English Lesson Note (Third Term)

Description is the use of words to help the reader picture a person, place or scene.

Behavioural objectives

By the end of the lesson, students should be able to:

1. list the main elements of description;
2. explain why a writer should not over-describe a character or scene;
3. name the five senses and say how they make a description real;
4. find examples of description in a passage;
5. write a short description of a person or a room.

What are the elements of description?

The elements of description are the tools a writer uses to make a person, place or scene clear in the reader’s mind.

• Character and place details: facts that show what a person or location looks like.
• The five senses: sight, hearing, smell, touch and taste.
• Colour: words that show shade and brightness.
• Metaphors and similes: fresh comparisons that create a picture or mood.
• Mood: the feeling the description creates, such as fear or calm.
• Link to action: description tied to what is happening in the story.
• Quirky details: small unusual facts that stay in the reader’s mind.
• Restraint: leaving some details for the reader to imagine.

How do we describe places and characters?

A writer describes places and characters so that the reader can see them without long explanations.

• Paint the picture: the reader needs description to see a location or scene in the mind.
• Do not overdo it: too much description slows the pace and holds back the plot.
• Describe early: describe a character soon after the character is introduced.
• Leave gaps: let the reader fill in some details, because this helps the reader fix a picture of the character.
• Know your reader: think about what the reader already knows, such as the shape of a newspaper, and what the reader does not know.

How do the five senses and colour make a description real?

The five senses are sight, hearing, smell, touch and taste, and each one adds a different part of the picture.

How should a writer use the senses?

• Use them often: ask what the character can see, hear, smell, touch and taste.
• Choose carefully: do not use too many senses in one scene.
• Aim for a real picture: use the senses to make the scene feel solid and tangible.

How should a writer use colour?

• Be specific: “a bright white apartment” is clearer than “a nice apartment”.
• Show the person: “blond hair” tells the reader something definite about a character.
• Use it with purpose: choose colours that fit the mood of the scene.

What are metaphors and similes in description?

A metaphor says one thing is another, and a simile compares two things using “like” or “as”.

• Power: metaphors can bring out a mood or theme that runs through a story.
• Avoid clichés: an expression you have heard many times is a cliché.
• Be original: make up your own metaphors and similes.

How does description create mood?

Mood is the feeling a description gives the reader, and the writer builds it through the details chosen.

• Weather: a stormy day creates a tense or gloomy mood.
• Setting: a bright white apartment creates a clean, cool or empty mood.
• Action: tie description to action to show the reader what is happening, rather than telling them.

What is the difference between showing and telling?

Telling states a fact, and showing uses details and action so the reader sees the fact for themselves.

Why are quirky details useful?

A quirky detail is a small, unusual fact that makes a person or place stand out in the reader’s mind.

• Memorable: an odd detail stays with the reader longer than a general one.
• Informative: a small detail can tell the reader about a character or location.
• Researched: build on a small detail you have observed or checked.
• Example: a teacher who ties two pencils together with rubber bands to teach penmanship.

How do we practise description?

We practise description by writing about real people and places and checking each detail.

1. Choose a subject, such as a picture of a person in a magazine or a room you have visited.
2. List what you can see, hear, smell, touch and taste.
3. Pick the colours that fit the subject.
4. Choose one quirky detail.
5. Write a fresh simile or metaphor.
6. Cut extra details. Remember the join-the-dots rule: let the reader fill in some details.

Reading passage: how does a writer describe a person?

Instruction: The author wants to do more than tell you about her teacher. She wants to create in your mind a clear mental picture of her favourite teacher. As you read, look for ways the author uses language to create a picture for you.

My favourite teacher

My favourite teacher was Mrs Ruby, who had taught me English for two years. She had studied in America and came back to Hong Kong to be an English teacher. She had sparkly eyes and blond hair. She was just a bit taller than I was. She always smiled at us when we saw each other in the hallway at school.

She seemed very strict when I first met her. However, we had a lot of fun during her classes because she told us jokes in English. She had skill at teaching, a sense of humour, and was friendly, patient and easygoing.

I had her classes when I was in grade 10, and I have got good marks in English since then. She gave us tons of assignments which were meant to improve our English. She was patient and enthusiastic whenever we had questions in her classes. Moreover, she would stay at school for hours after lessons finished to solve the problems that we had in her class.

She would spend her private time teaching us western penmanship, which meant using two pencils tied together with rubber bands. Then we could draw a letter with them. It was amazing. I learned it while I had lunch with her. She would also talk about her life during lunch, and I found we had a lot in common. She liked eating Chinese and Japanese food. Her favourite band was Westlife, as mine was.

She always listened to pop music and sang karaoke. She said that it was an easier way to communicate with her students. She was always friendly and easygoing.

She encouraged us to do voluntary work after school or at weekends. She was in charge of the YMCA and led a group of students to do many different kinds of services. These included cleaning houses for seniors who lived by themselves, selling stickers for charity, leading blind people along the street regularly, and planting bushes for an environmental protection organisation. She was a very helpful person.

What elements of description are in the passage?

Evaluation

1. Discuss the elements of a descriptive essay as used in the passage.
2. Which of the five senses does the author use to describe Mrs Ruby? Give examples from the passage.
3. Why should a writer avoid over-describing a character?
4. What is the difference between a simile and a metaphor? Give one example of each.

Assignment

Describe a room you have visited in about 100 words. Use at least two of the five senses, and use colour well.